01/10/2007- Antar-Raashtriya Kela Divas

Duniya ke khel niraale hain,

Sau baar Jhamela hota hai,

Meetha jo samajh ke khaayein wo

har baar karela hota hai...

Kuchh log jo achchhe hote hain,

unse bhagwaan ne khela hai,

Raahon mein kele ke chhilke

aur kismat mein bas KELA hai...

Ok... this might sound really lame to everyone outside my college campus who do not have any idea as to what all this one term "Kela" can imply, but those who do will readily appreciate even this extremely childish collegiate rhyme. Believe me. It really makes sense.

You don't believe me?
Come to know me, and you'll start believing in what I just said. And in case you don't want to pay such a heavy price (meeting me) to verify the rhyme, you can meet another version of the same species. Yes, our very own SV!!! He was apparently just a whisker away from a trip to IIT M that he has been so enthusiastic about for quite some time now (I was enthusiastic about his trip too, but due to his prospects of finding a bhabhi for me by the end of the trip. A certain Bhabhi :P ). However, his Faculty Advisor (or fac ad or f*** add , whatever you wanna call that person) had other plans to screw the geek's happiness, and the stud of the department is finally stuck again in this hellhole with 'Moronus Extraordinaire' (M.E. :D) (Whoever did not understand this joke, well, please thank God for not having stripped you of whatever little kindness he keeps bestowing now and then).

Anyway, the day otherwise was pretty good. Had a lot of bike rides... including four rounds of the institute with KN (ok, I know this might look gay, in fact it MUST HAVE looked gay, but when I get a bike, I don't really care much about what others think). Believe me, I really needed it after my chat with KN and AA while waiting for the food at the canteen. Excerpts:

me: I like custard apples (OK, my bad, I was the one who started all this)
AA: Custard apple kya hota hai?
me: Seeta Phal (this is what they call it in hindi)
AA: What's that?
KN: (An honest confession here: After this description, I don't think I am ever gonna eat one) Well, it's a fruit, green in colour, and it has, like, these black blister kinda thingies on the surface. Once you split it open, there is some white gooey stuff, and if you further eat it, you will find that the gooey stuff is wrapped around flattened-cone shaped black things.
AA: Oh!!! Kaddu?
me: Abey kaddu nahin!!!
AA: (hell bent) Kaddu hi hota hai bey.
NK: Kaddu is pumpkin!
AA: Kaddu pumpkin hota hai? phir wo hare colour ka phal kya hota hai jiske ends laal hote hain? Uski sabzi banti hai.
NK: Achchha wo na jo sweet sa hota hai?
me: (utterly frustrated) Abey tu green colour ke meethe fruit ki sabzi banaayega? Bong hai kya bey?
NK: Yeah right! Even bongs don't make such a sabzi.

me: I dunno dude... whatever!


I could really go on and on, because, for one, the chat did go on and on for another hour; but I think I have made my point. People actually get so much used to substituting this for fuun (The typing error is intentional, I don't want to associate even the correct spelling of fun with what people usually have here.) (What people usually have here is called crap, without any spelling mistakes this time.) that they actually forget that something called a joke (even PJ is some cases) exist. Here is a part of my chat with another guy whom I was composing an e-mail with. Lets call this guy UE.

UE: Should I write 'All the best' or 'Have fun' or something at the end?

me: Yeah, that should be fine. Though, if I had it my way, I'd have written 'Get a Life' instead. (Bad joke, I know, and I worsened the condition by sending an :P at the end, but what came next numbed me beyond recuperation)

UE: Yeah, we could write that too, but don't you think it might sound a bit derogatory?

me: (Unable to believe he took it seriously) What?

UE: Yes, it actually gives a feeling as if the other person has no life at all... as if... as if he's lifeless.

me: (Still trying to recover) Dude, don't take it seriously.

UE: (Still on his trip) Though, we can write something like 'Liven Up' on the lines of what you suggested.

me: That was a joke!!!

Aur likhoon kya? :P

Jaate Jaate...

Hazaaron khwaahishein aisi, ki har khwaahish pe dum nikle
Har plan ka ho kela, aur phir har kele mein bomb nikle...