02/10/2007 - Brainfagged...

(Note: Please do not sit with any sharp or heavy object within your reach while reading this post. Your exasperation after reading it might make you hurt someone, or, better still, yourself :P )

Hell. This was an arbitrary day. Come to think of it, the whole life is pretty arbitrary. It's us human beings who constantly keep trying to make sense out of this non-sense. This fact sometimes defeats the very reason why I made this blog: to make people how an IITian in general and a KGPian in particular lives. But since each post on this blog starts with something meaningful (usually), and ends properly (generally) with a lot of well-defined (Crappy and useless, but well-defined nonetheless) stuff in-between, I can't call it arbitrary. I can't write arbitrary stuff. Man... that kills me!!!

Anyway, who cares?

WHO CARES?

India just won the T-20 world cup after defeating Pakistan in the finals. Pakistan seems to be the hub of terrorism. So does Afghanistan, what with all the Osama Bin Ladens (Ok, not Ladens, but just the one that exists is good enough to make the Americans shit green all over their pants.). Americans, as my friend VS (this girl lives in USA) puts it, has brains the size of an average Indian male's nut-sack (don't frown at the owner of the blog, yours truly is just quoting what the lady said) . But the Germans are really intelligent people I believe. Germany is the home to the world's best beer companies and the best mathematics researches. I like mathematics though, but I hate Germany: too many freaking taxes there. This neutralizes my viewpoint for German mathematicians. One person who hated mathematicians was Alfred Nobel, probably because his wife perhaps eloped with a mathematician. Nobel prizes promote a noble cause of helping the progress of mankind in chosen fields. It is also awarded in the field of literature. So you can actually get a Nobel for writing a noble and novel novel. I don't like novels much though. Actually I am not patient enough to sit down and read a 500 pages-long piece of literature. But patient people form a very important part of the society, because it's the patients who provide a means of livelihood to all the people associated with the medical industry, including the doctors, nurses and the people managing the hospitals. Hospitality industry derives it's name from hospital, but they are both totally different. Hospitality industry is related to hotels. Hotels are those places where we live when we go out of town, and have no place to reside. An alternative definition for hotels is a place where people go when they get into adultery with beautiful women (This will never be a reason for me... beautiful women and I fall into different genders of different species). Most of the hotels these days have restaurants. When I was a kid, we basically went to restaurants only on some occasions, or the rare times when mom fell sick and could not cook for us. Mom cooked and did a lot of other stuff for us because she cares. Mom cares.

That's it. MOM CARES.

I now have the answer to the very basic question that I raised before I started my explanation (i.e. before the last paragraph started... scroll up to find out).

I now have the answer to the nature, universe and everything around us.

Though some people would say that the answer to this question is 42 (not so arbit this one.. read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and you'll know), but I really don't care.

After all, who cares??? :D

(So much to prove that this place makes you think really arbitrary stuff.)

Anyway, this is all from me for now.

Wish you a very Happy Holi and a Merry Christmas.

(I know what you are thinking. Holi and Christmas in October? Well, I have a rock solid reason for writing so.
The reason is that Deepika Padukone looks hot.)

01/10/2007- Antar-Raashtriya Kela Divas

Duniya ke khel niraale hain,

Sau baar Jhamela hota hai,

Meetha jo samajh ke khaayein wo

har baar karela hota hai...

Kuchh log jo achchhe hote hain,

unse bhagwaan ne khela hai,

Raahon mein kele ke chhilke

aur kismat mein bas KELA hai...

Ok... this might sound really lame to everyone outside my college campus who do not have any idea as to what all this one term "Kela" can imply, but those who do will readily appreciate even this extremely childish collegiate rhyme. Believe me. It really makes sense.

You don't believe me?
Come to know me, and you'll start believing in what I just said. And in case you don't want to pay such a heavy price (meeting me) to verify the rhyme, you can meet another version of the same species. Yes, our very own SV!!! He was apparently just a whisker away from a trip to IIT M that he has been so enthusiastic about for quite some time now (I was enthusiastic about his trip too, but due to his prospects of finding a bhabhi for me by the end of the trip. A certain Bhabhi :P ). However, his Faculty Advisor (or fac ad or f*** add , whatever you wanna call that person) had other plans to screw the geek's happiness, and the stud of the department is finally stuck again in this hellhole with 'Moronus Extraordinaire' (M.E. :D) (Whoever did not understand this joke, well, please thank God for not having stripped you of whatever little kindness he keeps bestowing now and then).

Anyway, the day otherwise was pretty good. Had a lot of bike rides... including four rounds of the institute with KN (ok, I know this might look gay, in fact it MUST HAVE looked gay, but when I get a bike, I don't really care much about what others think). Believe me, I really needed it after my chat with KN and AA while waiting for the food at the canteen. Excerpts:

me: I like custard apples (OK, my bad, I was the one who started all this)
AA: Custard apple kya hota hai?
me: Seeta Phal (this is what they call it in hindi)
AA: What's that?
KN: (An honest confession here: After this description, I don't think I am ever gonna eat one) Well, it's a fruit, green in colour, and it has, like, these black blister kinda thingies on the surface. Once you split it open, there is some white gooey stuff, and if you further eat it, you will find that the gooey stuff is wrapped around flattened-cone shaped black things.
AA: Oh!!! Kaddu?
me: Abey kaddu nahin!!!
AA: (hell bent) Kaddu hi hota hai bey.
NK: Kaddu is pumpkin!
AA: Kaddu pumpkin hota hai? phir wo hare colour ka phal kya hota hai jiske ends laal hote hain? Uski sabzi banti hai.
NK: Achchha wo na jo sweet sa hota hai?
me: (utterly frustrated) Abey tu green colour ke meethe fruit ki sabzi banaayega? Bong hai kya bey?
NK: Yeah right! Even bongs don't make such a sabzi.

me: I dunno dude... whatever!


I could really go on and on, because, for one, the chat did go on and on for another hour; but I think I have made my point. People actually get so much used to substituting this for fuun (The typing error is intentional, I don't want to associate even the correct spelling of fun with what people usually have here.) (What people usually have here is called crap, without any spelling mistakes this time.) that they actually forget that something called a joke (even PJ is some cases) exist. Here is a part of my chat with another guy whom I was composing an e-mail with. Lets call this guy UE.

UE: Should I write 'All the best' or 'Have fun' or something at the end?

me: Yeah, that should be fine. Though, if I had it my way, I'd have written 'Get a Life' instead. (Bad joke, I know, and I worsened the condition by sending an :P at the end, but what came next numbed me beyond recuperation)

UE: Yeah, we could write that too, but don't you think it might sound a bit derogatory?

me: (Unable to believe he took it seriously) What?

UE: Yes, it actually gives a feeling as if the other person has no life at all... as if... as if he's lifeless.

me: (Still trying to recover) Dude, don't take it seriously.

UE: (Still on his trip) Though, we can write something like 'Liven Up' on the lines of what you suggested.

me: That was a joke!!!

Aur likhoon kya? :P

Jaate Jaate...

Hazaaron khwaahishein aisi, ki har khwaahish pe dum nikle
Har plan ka ho kela, aur phir har kele mein bomb nikle...